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Garry Marshall's 'Princess Diaries' Is Royally Lame
submitted by: Lisa D.
source: New York Daily News
Date: August 3, 2001
By JAMI BERNARD, DAILY NEWS MOVIE CRITIC
THE PRINCESS DIARIES. With Julie Andrews, Anne Hathaway, Hector Elizondo, Heather Matarazzo. Directed by Garry Marshall. Running time: 115 mins. Rated G. 2 Stars. Every little girl's dream of being a princess is reduced to utter banality in "The Princess Diaries," Garry Marshall's tacky comedy about a teenager who is not quite ready to assume the position - of royalty, that is.
Right before her 16th birthday, San Francisco nerd Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) learns that she is next in line for succession to the throne of Genovia, a European sliver country known mostly for its pears.
Actually, Mia is the only one in line for the throne. Mom never told Mia about her estranged father's family business, and I guess Mia didn't have a modem for her computer so she could have looked it up on the Net.
Along comes grandma, Queen Clarisse Renaldi (Julie Andrews), a stately woman who wishes to prepare Mia for her introduction to Genovian society.
Andrews, who was Broadway's Eliza Doolittle, now gives the "My Fair Lady" treatment to a girl who barfs at the thought of public speaking, whose eyebrows are so thick they are referred to as "Frida" and "Kahlo," respectively, and who is so invisible that people sometimes sit on her, mistaking her for an empty space.
The princess lessons are ripe for the humor of transformation, an engine that has driven so many movies so well. But here, those scenes thud like heavy footsteps at a ball.
Mia learns to walk, wave and dance, but like most teen comedies where a girl goes from pariah to A-list, you never doubt her inner babe, frizzy hair or not.
Hector Elizondo, a staple of Garry Marshall movies, has guided other women in search of their inner princesses with better results. In "Pretty Woman," he was the hotel clerk who watched with avuncular delight as Julia Roberts moved up from hooker to penthouse.
Here, Elizondo plays the queen's right-hand man. His avuncular delight seems predicated on nothing, because the wide-eyed Hathaway, from the TV series "Get Real," makes Mia not so much innately charming as puppy-dog pliable. She may as well have been trained to fetch a stick.
Mia's transformation, both outer and inner, is perfunctory. She remains kinda goofy, kinda crunchy (she eats soy nuts), but with better manners.
Ineptly staged scenes include an embarrassing run-in with a trolley car and a scene in which the uptight queen learns to enjoy life by biting into a corndog.
The movie also takes a bizarre turn into "Beach Blanket Bingo" terrain, where Mia learns that overnight friends are not as trustworthy as the old standbys.
Heather Matarazzo plays the old standby, and she's the only cast member who does not seem to be playing by rote.
Prepubescent girls might get a few safe giggles while others around them are yawning. Just remember, a G rating does not have to be the kiss of death.
This is Andrews' first work for Disney since she made "Mary Poppins," and boy, could we use a spoonful of that sugar right now.
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