254 replies to this topic

[salute88]

I havent read all the pages in this thread so I am not sure all of what was said but I do want to say that I think it is completely unfair for people to make comments telling other fans how they SHOULD react, respond, feel, speak, etc in response to the information surrounding Whitney's death. We all LOVE her and anyone who would take the time to still post here and probably still come to this site everyday after her untimely death obviously cares deeply about her. Everyone is grieving in their own way and more than that everyone is different so we are all handling the news differently. Some of us don't care about cause of death, others are devastated by the news...but NO ONE has a right to say what I person needs to do or how they should feel and certainly not try to regulate how much attention we should spend on a topic (especially something this relevant). I have loved Whitney for since I can remember and have defended her avidly...I come here to discuss her life and legacy with others like myself. The first place I came when she passed was here! This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

[Zolas]

salute88, on 24 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

And that's exactly why these last few weeks I haven't felt at home or safe here. There is so much gossiping/finger pointing going on here lately. It truly saddens me to my core. Like someone else said, some of the comments are WORSE then what the tabloids are writing. And when that happens I don't feel safe or at home.

I have considered to leave this board a few times these last few weeks. Just because of that. Luckily there are some great and comforting topics that have kept me here. And I choose to ignore some other topics.


Back on topic: If I take away anything from this report, it's that I myself should start taking better care of my body. I don't suffer from addiction but I should excersise more. My body can handle it now but it won't stay that way...

[sinderella]

salute88, on 24 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

I havent read all the pages in this thread so I am not sure all of what was said but I do want to say that I think it is completely unfair for people to make comments telling other fans how they SHOULD react, respond, feel, speak, etc in response to the information surrounding Whitney's death. We all LOVE her and anyone who would take the time to still post here and probably still come to this site everyday after her untimely death obviously cares deeply about her. Everyone is grieving in their own way and more than that everyone is different so we are all handling the news differently. Some of us don't care about cause of death, others are devastated by the news...but NO ONE has a right to say what I person needs to do or how they should feel and certainly not try to regulate how much attention we should spend on a topic (especially something this relevant). I have loved Whitney for since I can remember and have defended her avidly...I come here to discuss her life and legacy with others like myself. The first place I came when she passed was here! This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Except there is disrespect, outright finger-pointing and blinded close-minded presumptions, different reactions are to be expected.

[Nippyislove]

Whitney was so under pressure, everybody was expecting something of her, we all were so demanding. And the icing of the cake were all the haters and the tabloid trash articles about her - Let them be true or not - finally it was not our business to tell her how to live. I think private issues and diseases or disorders like addiction are not really approbiate to be gossiped about in the public/the press. I do honestly think, the drugs hit only a small surface of her problems, and she was probably on and off them in intervalls, because it is not unusual for an addict to stop and start and stop and start and getting off Drugs slowly - its not straight into sobriety most the time. Whitney was always in the public eye and somehow she could not run away to a place where they would have left her in peace. Nobody was giving her the time she needed, I am afraid. Sometimes I wished she would have left the United States like Tina Turner did with her move to Switzerland. But probably she was too family bound and to "American" to do such a drastic step - and would the press have left her live in peace over there? I don't know.

David Bowie for example was heavy on drugs in the seventies and in the end of that decade up to in the eighties he got slowly rid of it. He could have had bad luck, too and could have been died of a heart attac in that period of time without overdosing, but Drugs in his System. So he would have "counted" as drug casualty, too.

But he was lucky to stay alive - but then he got a heart attack after a festival concert in Scheeßel/Germany in 2004 and survived it - many years after the he took Drugs for the last time.

Fact is: We are all vunerable - our bodies and our emotions - and we should treat each other as nice as possible and with respect. I do think many tabloids and haters were trying everthing to rip Whitney in pieces and to destroy her dignity and legacy. Whitney is not alive anymore, but we can stop the hate and the nitpicking and showing Whitney and her daughter and her family some respect. We can stand up against letting someone destroy her dignity and legacy after her death. And we can even go further: We teach our children not to bully. We to not bully at work or in our family. We should learn how to love and forgive. We should not gossip. I think that would be a good thing to show Whitney in heaven that we are learning (or at least trying, as nobody is perfect).

That is just how I feel about all this.

[salute88]

sinderella, on 24 March 2012 - 05:54 AM, said:

salute88, on 24 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

I havent read all the pages in this thread so I am not sure all of what was said but I do want to say that I think it is completely unfair for people to make comments telling other fans how they SHOULD react, respond, feel, speak, etc in response to the information surrounding Whitney's death. We all LOVE her and anyone who would take the time to still post here and probably still come to this site everyday after her untimely death obviously cares deeply about her. Everyone is grieving in their own way and more than that everyone is different so we are all handling the news differently. Some of us don't care about cause of death, others are devastated by the news...but NO ONE has a right to say what I person needs to do or how they should feel and certainly not try to regulate how much attention we should spend on a topic (especially something this relevant). I have loved Whitney for since I can remember and have defended her avidly...I come here to discuss her life and legacy with others like myself. The first place I came when she passed was here! This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except there is disrespect, outright finger-pointing and blinded close-minded presumptions, different reactions are to be expected.

I can't really speak on that, I have seen disrespectful comments but none that I recall on this board. I do want to note that one of the steps of grief (anger if I recall) include finger pointing and blaming. I think people here really love her and are just venting their frustration. These are the people that supported her financially, emotionally and spiritually. These are the people that argued for her and defended her even when they didnt know if the accusations against her were true. People say that JB and Bey have the greatest fans but I KNOW we are the greatest b/c through VERY dark days and scary times we stood by...sometimes frustrated, sometimes hurt, sometimes empathetic...we were here and now we are STILL here. Maybe my point is getting lost so I will just stop BUT I will say this: When my family, whom I love frustrate me, I go to my family to vent my frustrations and anger. naturally I say things I don't mean in the moment but I KNOW that they all love the persona s much as I do so it's a SAFE PLACE. I think people are just venting here the things they cannot say to others who don't love her.

I get what you all are saying tho, I can understand not wanting to here that tabloid trash. I guess their is no solution...

[Petra]

i don't think anyone is being intentionally disrespectful, it's just that we're all trying to deal with this and we're all in different stages of grief..i do believe this is a safe place where we all come to vent because we can't do it anywhere else..if some borders are being crossed, it's just another proof of how much we all love her and need her..it's easier to have someone to blame, that way we can concentrate all that anger and frustration on them..i think we're just getting through this the best way we know..

i know that i love her more than ever..she wanted to make it, she was fighting hard..you don't kick a habit like that by going to rehab, she herself said it: "It's day by day"..so yes, some days are good, some days are bad..the most important thing is that she defeated it once and she was able to do it again..people need to remember that she didn't OD, this was all just a series of freak coincidences, and drugs were just one of them..

remember those interviews about sparkle and those little snippets? she was happy, she was doing what she wanted to do and she was looking forward to it..she wasn't lost, she didn't lose hope, she just kept on fighting..maybe she stumbled, but so what? it's not the first time this happened to an addict, it's a battle these people fight every day of their lives..some you win, some you lose - the important thing is not to lose hope and keep fighting - and that's exactly what she did..

so i salute her..for everything she did in her life, for all her achievements, for that beautiful loving heart of hers, that heart of a fighter that fought hard till the very end..she was a beautiful human being, and her flaws made me love her even more..

this will all go away, it takes time, but it will..and then there will remain her amazing legacy, artistry, memory of a one of a kind performer, entertainer, human being..her immense talent can never be overshadowed by anything..and that's why she'll live forever..

Edited by Petra, 24 March 2012 - 09:41 AM.

[s0436]

she didn't die of a drugs overdose though, it was contributory of course...

[Every1lovesNippy]

Petra, on 24 March 2012 - 09:39 AM, said:

i don't think anyone is being intentionally disrespectful, it's just that we're all trying to deal with this and we're all in different stages of grief..i do believe this is a safe place where we all come to vent because we can't do it anywhere else..if some borders are being crossed, it's just another proof of how much we all love her and need her..it's easier to have someone to blame, that way we can concentrate all that anger and frustration on them..i think we're just getting through this the best way we know..

i know that i love her more than ever..she wanted to make it, she was fighting hard..you don't kick a habit like that by going to rehab, she herself said it: "It's day by day"..so yes, some days are good, some days are bad..the most important thing is that she defeated it once and she was able to do it again..people need to remember that she didn't OD, this was all just a series of freak coincidences, and drugs were just one of them..

remember those interviews about sparkle and those little snippets? she was happy, she was doing what she wanted to do and she was looking forward to it..she wasn't lost, she didn't lose hope, she just kept on fighting..maybe she stumbled, but so what? it's not the first time this happened to an addict, it's a battle these people fight every day of their lives..some you win, some you lose - the important thing is not to lose hope and keep fighting - and that's exactly what she did..

so i salute her..for everything she did in her life, for all her achievements, for that beautiful loving heart of hers, that heart of a fighter that fought hard till the very end..she was a beautiful human being, and her flaws made me love her even more..

this will all go away, it takes time, but it will..and then there will remain her amazing legacy, artistry, memory of a one of a kind performer, entertainer, human being..her immense talent can never be overshadowed by anything..and that's why she'll live forever..

Could not have been said better.

[ARG2009]

Petra, on 24 March 2012 - 09:39 AM, said:

i don't think anyone is being intentionally disrespectful, it's just that we're all trying to deal with this and we're all in different stages of grief..
so i salute her..for everything she did in her life, for all her achievements, for that beautiful loving heart of hers, that heart of a fighter that fought hard till the very end..she was a beautiful human being, and her flaws made me love her even more..

this will all go away, it takes time, but it will..and then there will remain her amazing legacy, artistry, memory of a one of a kind performer, entertainer, human being..her immense talent can never be overshadowed by anything..and that's why she'll live forever..

Well said!

[ARG2009]

Zolas, on 24 March 2012 - 03:28 AM, said:

salute88, on 24 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

And that's exactly why these last few weeks I haven't felt at home or safe here. There is so much gossiping/finger pointing going on here lately. It truly saddens me to my core. Like someone else said, some of the comments are WORSE then what the tabloids are writing. And when that happens I don't feel safe or at home.

I have considered to leave this board a few times these last few weeks. Just because of that. Luckily there are some great and comforting topics that have kept me here. And I choose to ignore some other topics.


Back on topic: If I take away anything from this report, it's that I myself should start taking better care of my body. I don't suffer from addiction but I should excersise more. My body can handle it now but it won't stay that way...

I don't think that the comments of the people here are worst than the tabloids, people are just trying to face this lost the best they can. On the other hand, you, me and the rest of us are free to express their opinions and leave this forum whenever their consider...

[Zolas]

It IS worse, because here it happens despite our knowledge of the dark side of gossip. Tabloids do it to make money and supply to a demand of the public.

We simply cannot defend Whitney saying people don't know, and we should respect her, while making conclusions and making up stories about others at the same time.

[John-John]

I stopped sharing my opinions publicly on the board to avoid problems. If one states a critical opinion about bbb or ray j it's ok--but everybody else in her life is off limits. It's not an issue for me. That's what private messages are for. And having an opinion or making an observation is NOT gossip.

[MLIYL]

LatinNippy24, on 23 March 2012 - 08:20 PM, said:

MLIYL, on 23 March 2012 - 06:05 PM, said:

ARG2009, on 23 March 2012 - 05:58 PM, said:

MLIYL, on 23 March 2012 - 02:20 PM, said:

Whitney was an addict, addicts relapse all of the time, why are people being so mean and judgemental towards Whitney once they found out she had cocaine in her system? She told Oprah herself that she can only take it one day at a time, it's like that for every addict. At least she was honest about it. She never claimed she was above relapsing.

What people don't seem to understand is that she DIDN'T overdose, she had a heart condition, she had heart disease. This could've happened to her whether she did cocaine that day or not. It could've happened to her while walking from her car to the doctor's office. Yes she had the heart disease because of her life choices, but guess what? People get heart disease from multiple things, not JUST drugs. Heart disease is the #1 killer in women. All those millions of people getting fast food everyday and not exercising, you can get heart disease. All those people drinking alcohol everyday and not taking care of their bodies, you can get heart disease (among other things). All those people smoking cigarettes everyday, you can get heart disease. Just because it's legal means one is better than the other? ADDICTION IS ADDICTION. It ALL can kill people, and it does so everyday.

Do not judge Whitney. I know we're all upset, sad, devastated, angry, and we all keep thinking this didn't need to happen, but it did, and don't judge her for it. Whitney had pain in her life that none of us will ever understand, she was a troubled soul, and was trying to numb her pain. Don't people get that? QUIT JUDGING HER FOR IT.

What gets me is all of those people judging her and running their mouth about her are drug addicts themselves, or their family members are, or they have their own addictions, and they ALL have their own issues. Like who are you to talk sh*t??? When you're sitting there popping your pain pills everyday, getting drunk, eating fast food everyday, smoking weed, doing dope, WHO ARE YOU to cast judgement on Whitney Houston?! You are NO better than her. Believe that.

Agree with you MLIYL. But I will clarify a little about heart disease. As you said, this is the first cause of death on women, and evenmore in black women. But the drugs have a terrible effect in heart and circulatory system. The chronic use of cocaine literally destroy the arteries's walls. Maybe the drugs consumed the day/s before her death weren`t the immediate cause of death, but I am almost sure that so many years of consume had an effect. Don`t be naive...
I m not criticizing Whitney, I feel sorry for her, and I think the people here that express their feeling like me are not trying to crucify nor judging her, just want to express what they feel. She was human, a very nice human being, that bring me so much happy in my life, and unfortunately, couldn't find a way out.

I'm not one of the naive fans, trust me. I said she has the heart disease due to her life choices, that's obvious. All those years that she abused her body was going to affect her, on top of that the smoking cigarettes.... I'm well aware of that. This could've still happened to her even if she never touched cocaine again, it depends how bad her heart was.

My main issue is the people judging her for it... and I already spoke about that above.

I don't think many of the people on here are judging her; most, if not all, are merely expressing the way they're feeling after hearing the news. I have to admit, when I first opened this thread yesterday and read the autopsy report, I immediately had mixed feelings - I felt anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, pain, etc, but by no means am I judging her or her life choices. I too, like many others on this site, thought she had overcome her demons but unfortunately it seems she hadn't and that is very disappointing because we really wanted her to be ok. : (. You have to understand that each one of us is at a different point in our grieving process and we deal with grief in our own way. Dablack11 stated it best above, we shouldn't be tearing apart eachother's opinions and feelings; we should be here for one another in our time of difficulty. Obviously nothing is going to bring our beautiful Whitney Houston back but its important to many of us who don't share our pain to have a forum where we ALL can feel comfortable to express ourselves without feeling like we're being judged or criticized for how we're feeling. We don't all have to agree with one another but we should respect eachother.

I really wasn't talking about anyone HERE judging her, I know we're all true fans, we're all upset and devastated, and we all truly cared for her. I'm mainly talking about the outside world, the general public... those mean comments the general public make about her, it really angers me how much they judge her knowing they and their own family is no better.

[Petra]

MLIYL, on 24 March 2012 - 12:47 PM, said:

LatinNippy24, on 23 March 2012 - 08:20 PM, said:

MLIYL, on 23 March 2012 - 06:05 PM, said:

ARG2009, on 23 March 2012 - 05:58 PM, said:

MLIYL, on 23 March 2012 - 02:20 PM, said:

Whitney was an addict, addicts relapse all of the time, why are people being so mean and judgemental towards Whitney once they found out she had cocaine in her system? She told Oprah herself that she can only take it one day at a time, it's like that for every addict. At least she was honest about it. She never claimed she was above relapsing.

What people don't seem to understand is that she DIDN'T overdose, she had a heart condition, she had heart disease. This could've happened to her whether she did cocaine that day or not. It could've happened to her while walking from her car to the doctor's office. Yes she had the heart disease because of her life choices, but guess what? People get heart disease from multiple things, not JUST drugs. Heart disease is the #1 killer in women. All those millions of people getting fast food everyday and not exercising, you can get heart disease. All those people drinking alcohol everyday and not taking care of their bodies, you can get heart disease (among other things). All those people smoking cigarettes everyday, you can get heart disease. Just because it's legal means one is better than the other? ADDICTION IS ADDICTION. It ALL can kill people, and it does so everyday.

Do not judge Whitney. I know we're all upset, sad, devastated, angry, and we all keep thinking this didn't need to happen, but it did, and don't judge her for it. Whitney had pain in her life that none of us will ever understand, she was a troubled soul, and was trying to numb her pain. Don't people get that? QUIT JUDGING HER FOR IT.

What gets me is all of those people judging her and running their mouth about her are drug addicts themselves, or their family members are, or they have their own addictions, and they ALL have their own issues. Like who are you to talk sh*t??? When you're sitting there popping your pain pills everyday, getting drunk, eating fast food everyday, smoking weed, doing dope, WHO ARE YOU to cast judgement on Whitney Houston?! You are NO better than her. Believe that.

Agree with you MLIYL. But I will clarify a little about heart disease. As you said, this is the first cause of death on women, and evenmore in black women. But the drugs have a terrible effect in heart and circulatory system. The chronic use of cocaine literally destroy the arteries's walls. Maybe the drugs consumed the day/s before her death weren`t the immediate cause of death, but I am almost sure that so many years of consume had an effect. Don`t be naive...
I m not criticizing Whitney, I feel sorry for her, and I think the people here that express their feeling like me are not trying to crucify nor judging her, just want to express what they feel. She was human, a very nice human being, that bring me so much happy in my life, and unfortunately, couldn't find a way out.

I'm not one of the naive fans, trust me. I said she has the heart disease due to her life choices, that's obvious. All those years that she abused her body was going to affect her, on top of that the smoking cigarettes.... I'm well aware of that. This could've still happened to her even if she never touched cocaine again, it depends how bad her heart was.

My main issue is the people judging her for it... and I already spoke about that above.

I don't think many of the people on here are judging her; most, if not all, are merely expressing the way they're feeling after hearing the news. I have to admit, when I first opened this thread yesterday and read the autopsy report, I immediately had mixed feelings - I felt anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, pain, etc, but by no means am I judging her or her life choices. I too, like many others on this site, thought she had overcome her demons but unfortunately it seems she hadn't and that is very disappointing because we really wanted her to be ok. : (. You have to understand that each one of us is at a different point in our grieving process and we deal with grief in our own way. Dablack11 stated it best above, we shouldn't be tearing apart eachother's opinions and feelings; we should be here for one another in our time of difficulty. Obviously nothing is going to bring our beautiful Whitney Houston back but its important to many of us who don't share our pain to have a forum where we ALL can feel comfortable to express ourselves without feeling like we're being judged or criticized for how we're feeling. We don't all have to agree with one another but we should respect eachother.

I really wasn't talking about anyone HERE judging her, I know we're all true fans, we're all upset and devastated, and we all truly cared for her. I'm mainly talking about the outside world, the general public... those mean comments the general public make about her, it really angers me how much they judge her knowing they and their own family is no better.

that's what people are like..you and i are no better, it's just that we don't talk this way about Whitney, but someone/something else..we all jump to conclusions and have certain prejudice towards something..it's in our nature..it easier to talk about someone else and judge them then look in the mirror and face our own shortcomings..and when it comes to media and their ways of making money, well, no news there..some things never change..

[LatinNippy24]

salute88, on 24 March 2012 - 12:34 AM, said:

I havent read all the pages in this thread so I am not sure all of what was said but I do want to say that I think it is completely unfair for people to make comments telling other fans how they SHOULD react, respond, feel, speak, etc in response to the information surrounding Whitney's death. We all LOVE her and anyone who would take the time to still post here and probably still come to this site everyday after her untimely death obviously cares deeply about her. Everyone is grieving in their own way and more than that everyone is different so we are all handling the news differently. Some of us don't care about cause of death, others are devastated by the news...but NO ONE has a right to say what I person needs to do or how they should feel and certainly not try to regulate how much attention we should spend on a topic (especially something this relevant). I have loved Whitney for since I can remember and have defended her avidly...I come here to discuss her life and legacy with others like myself. The first place I came when she passed was here! This SHOULD be a safe place to talk realistically yet respectfully. If anyone doesn't like the topic or feels this is irrelevant why are they reading the post and commenting? I don't know...maybe I am just upset...because I normally am not combative. I am not really coming for anyone in particular just sick of the childishness and the presumptuous attitudes.

Salute88, you hit it right on the money about some of the childishness that goes on...sometimes after reading some of the posts, I feel like I'm in high school all over again. I'm a 34 year-old man and reading some of the posts of people going back and forth makes me cringe. I don't always agree with some of the stuff some people have to say but I would NEVER post a comment telling them that what they think, believe or feel is wrong or incorrect. I respect everyone and what they have to say and wish all would do the same so everyone feels comfortable enough to post what they're feeling. It saddens me that some individuals don't feel at home or feel this is a safe place for them to openly express their feelings.