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Picking Up The Pieces...



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#421 liz06

    Senior Member

  • 3,766 posts

Posted 24 March 2012 - 01:18 PM

I have to tell you all this.

I was at a wedding for a close cousin of mine yesterday. We started dancing and having a great time, after about 5 songs in, my cousins and I were going to step out to get some water because I was sweating in places I didn't know I could. But as we were walking off the dance floor, the DJ mumbled something about "dont leave the dance floor, this one's for you ladies" and just then he played I Wanna Dance With Somebody. Now, this is a big DJ in Detroit, they play a lot of hip hop and techno music and for him to play this, it just hit me! My fam was all coming over to dance with me, saying this was played for me. I took a sec, said a quick prayer to Nip, and even though I got teary, I DANCED! I danced so hard. I felt I had to. It brought my family together, we all danced together. That song created a memory that I will never forget. After that song and a few others I did rush off to get some water and some "other" drinks, but I continued dancing for over 3 hours.

The toxicology report can come out and say whatever it wants, but it has no effect on my unconditional love, respect, and admiration for the Greatest singer on Earth. Though I am still terribly saddened at times still inconsolable, she gives me strength! I look to her!

#422 Tejay06

    Senior Member

  • 859 posts

Posted 24 March 2012 - 09:46 PM

I was just watching her concert in South Africa. I watched her intro to Home. She talked about all the places where she had been. She said: "I am finally HOME!" I thought, yes, yes indeed you are. *tear*
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#423 mario

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  • 159 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 06:52 AM

I still can't cope with this. Since her funeral I haven't been able to listen to one single song, to watch any video, I can't listen to her voice. It's too heartbreaking and I'm scared, cause I don't want it to be this way, but I had to remove all of her songs from my i-tunes cause if I hear her voice accidentally it's like I'm being stabbed. This is the longest I have ever been without listening to her voice, I know it's weird but that's just where I stand right now. It's still way too painful and I miss her tremendously I can't still accept what happened. Why does it hurt so bad????!

#424 Carmen

    Senior Member

  • 2,933 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:16 AM

View Postmario, on 25 March 2012 - 06:52 AM, said:

I still can't cope with this. Since her funeral I haven't been able to listen to one single song, to watch any video, I can't listen to her voice. It's too heartbreaking and I'm scared, cause I don't want it to be this way, but I had to remove all of her songs from my i-tunes cause if I hear her voice accidentally it's like I'm being stabbed. This is the longest I have ever been without listening to her voice, I know it's weird but that's just where I stand right now. It's still way too painful and I miss her tremendously I can't still accept what happened. Why does it hurt so bad????!

We're all heartbroken. I think I'll never be fully over what happened with her, but I know I've to keep on mainly for my own family. (This has been an awful year so far, last week my father suffered an accident at home, and paramedics had to take him to hospital immediately.)
I was in the same state as you in the first 1-2 week, but then I decided to try to help myself with her music and it worked! Since then, I watch videos of her or listen to her music every day just like before. It's sad, and times I still have tears in my eyes when I think of Whitney. But it's like a part of her is left with us through her music and those video recordings. And I'm so thankful for this.
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#425 juzly

    nippyology <3 expressionist

  • 949 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:25 AM

View Postmario, on 25 March 2012 - 06:52 AM, said:

I still can't cope with this. Since her funeral I haven't been able to listen to one single song, to watch any video, I can't listen to her voice. It's too heartbreaking and I'm scared, cause I don't want it to be this way, but I had to remove all of her songs from my i-tunes cause if I hear her voice accidentally it's like I'm being stabbed. This is the longest I have ever been without listening to her voice, I know it's weird but that's just where I stand right now. It's still way too painful and I miss her tremendously I can't still accept what happened. Why does it hurt so bad????!

I'm the same mario. I have seen just a couple of interviews in the tribute thread, were people talk about how much they loved Whitney, but they were hard also. And yeah, today i got scared thinking when am i gonna be able to listen to beautiful again. It's like i fell guilty that i can't. But then i remembered when my dad passed i couldn't even see a picture of him for a while. Now i look at a picture of him everyday and smile, remember the joy he gave me. In time we will do the same with beautiful Whitney.

Much love to you. We all will heal.

A Brave heart is a Powerful weapon. A Voice inspires the Way. One Love. Whitney forever


#426 juzly

    nippyology <3 expressionist

  • 949 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:35 AM

View PostCarmen, on 25 March 2012 - 07:16 AM, said:

View Postmario, on 25 March 2012 - 06:52 AM, said:

I still can't cope with this. Since her funeral I haven't been able to listen to one single song, to watch any video, I can't listen to her voice. It's too heartbreaking and I'm scared, cause I don't want it to be this way, but I had to remove all of her songs from my i-tunes cause if I hear her voice accidentally it's like I'm being stabbed. This is the longest I have ever been without listening to her voice, I know it's weird but that's just where I stand right now. It's still way too painful and I miss her tremendously I can't still accept what happened. Why does it hurt so bad????!

We're all heartbroken. I think I'll never be fully over what happened with her, but I know I've to keep on mainly for my own family. (This has been an awful year so far, last week my father suffered an accident at home, and paramedics had to take him to hospital immediately.)
I was in the same state as you in the first 1-2 week, but then I decided to try to help myself with her music and it worked! Since then, I watch videos of her or listen to her music every day just like before. It's sad, and times I still have tears in my eyes when I think of Whitney. But it's like a part of her is left with us through her music and those video recordings. And I'm so thankful for this.

I hope your father is doing better, and everything is OK. Yeah, a I've noticed other fans have started to listen to uplifting Whitney songs, and beautiful Whitney gave us the gift of so many of them.

Much love.

A Brave heart is a Powerful weapon. A Voice inspires the Way. One Love. Whitney forever


#427 Lisa

    VIP Member

  • 14,187 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:15 PM

Carmen, I hope your father is ok and that he'll feel better soon.
If tomorrow is judgment day ...
And the Lord asks me what I did with my life,
I will say I spent it with you.

#428 Tbone504

    Member

  • 86 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 12:21 PM

I love you guys so much because you write my thoughts and I wanted to send a shout to all of you as this will take sometime for all of us to get over. Way too soon for healing.
Tony
Beverly Hills, CA 90211 USA

#429 Carmen

    Senior Member

  • 2,933 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 01:07 PM

View Postjuzly, on 25 March 2012 - 07:35 AM, said:

View PostCarmen, on 25 March 2012 - 07:16 AM, said:

View Postmario, on 25 March 2012 - 06:52 AM, said:

I still can't cope with this. Since her funeral I haven't been able to listen to one single song, to watch any video, I can't listen to her voice. It's too heartbreaking and I'm scared, cause I don't want it to be this way, but I had to remove all of her songs from my i-tunes cause if I hear her voice accidentally it's like I'm being stabbed. This is the longest I have ever been without listening to her voice, I know it's weird but that's just where I stand right now. It's still way too painful and I miss her tremendously I can't still accept what happened. Why does it hurt so bad????!

We're all heartbroken. I think I'll never be fully over what happened with her, but I know I've to keep on mainly for my own family. (This has been an awful year so far, last week my father suffered an accident at home, and paramedics had to take him to hospital immediately.)
I was in the same state as you in the first 1-2 week, but then I decided to try to help myself with her music and it worked! Since then, I watch videos of her or listen to her music every day just like before. It's sad, and times I still have tears in my eyes when I think of Whitney. But it's like a part of her is left with us through her music and those video recordings. And I'm so thankful for this.

I hope your father is doing better, and everything is OK. Yeah, a I've noticed other fans have started to listen to uplifting Whitney songs, and beautiful Whitney gave us the gift of so many of them.

Much love.

View PostLisa, on 25 March 2012 - 12:15 PM, said:

Carmen, I hope your father is ok and that he'll feel better soon.

Juzly and Lisa: Thanks for the well wishes, it really means so much! He was released from the hospital yesterday. He broke his rib, has several bruises, still has huge pains. But slowly he will get better.
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#430 mario

    Member

  • 159 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 01:54 PM

Thanks Carmen, best wishes for your dad. Thanks Juzly for your words. She's been "with" me for 27 years of my life, and I can't even write how much I'm gonna miss her. One day I'll listen to her voice again. I love her so much.

#431 Petra

    Senior Member

  • 686 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 07:35 PM

I thought I was okay, but I guess I'm not. I guess this shock/denial thing is wearing off and I'm finally seeing that this is it, there's no turning back, it's final. She's gone.

I'm on a such a roller coaster, one minute I'm fine and the next I'm completely devastated. It's been a month and a half (can't believe how time flies), when does it start to get better?

I feel like a zombie, there have been very few occasions since Feb 11 when I actually had a good time, a good laugh. Everything else is like I'm a robot, automatically doing things I'm supposed to do, but not enjoying them and not being committed at all.

I hate this. One of the worst nightmares came true and there's no waking up.

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"If the voice is a musical instrument, here is a Stradivarius."
- Time magazine -


That Stradivarius is playing its sweet notes in Heaven now.


I will love you for the rest of my days and beyond.

You are free.


Full time angel since Feb 11, 2012


#432 gazelle

    Member

  • 300 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 08:08 PM

Looking at Oprah's next chapter with Lady Gaga and her mother I can't help but wonder at the strength it took for Whitney to have given us so much of herself. It is really hard for me to hear people speaking of Whitney and finding that even now they seem to forget that she was a REAL person who gave us way more than we paid for. I am certainly not saying that she is above criticism but it is hard to hear and see her being torn down after giving and giving so much. Hard to pick up the pieces knowing that it must have drained her to hold it together.... forgive the rambling...

If you dont like your fate...change it!

#433 26twin

    Member

  • 132 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 08:29 PM

Well, I just am not okay still. I tried watching some concerts last night couldnt do it. Ive never looked through the rare pics thread here so Im doing that now and it made me smile...I was watching Paula Patton in Lets Get Married or something like that and during the whole movie I was thinking how much she looks like Whitney just a lighter version..I swear I was imagining her being Whitney during the entire movie. Maybe its just me..

#434 Accomplice

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  • 133 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 09:58 PM

Carmen, I wish you and your family well and your fathers recovery is speedy. I know how painful a broken rib can be.

#435 Blazinice

    Member

  • 458 posts

Posted 25 March 2012 - 10:16 PM

This past week I went to a funeral and the minute I stepped into the room where the viewing was, above the noise from the crowd, I heard that voice... (You know our ears are trained to pick her up) and it was exactly the point in I Look To You when she says, "bout to lose my breath, there's no more fighting left." I can't even tell you the surge of emotion that hit me. I was already so sad about the passing of this elderly woman who had lost a long hard fight with cancer...my heart was so broken for her grandchildren who she'd raised and who loved her dearly...then hearing Whitney, it felt like someone had just taken my kneecaps out. It literally took everything I had to not break down. And immediately following I Look To You, they played I Didn't Know My Own Strength. It was gut-wrenching.

And I know a lot of you are having a hard time listening to her music, or watching her videos, I'm exactly the opposite, it's all I do. I have lived with and taken care of both of my grandparents since I was in 6th grade. I lost my grandma, who was my everything, a few years ago. Shortly after she passed my grandpa took a turn for the worse. Last Fall, he fell right after I left for work one day and ended up needing to go to rehab for physical therapy. Since then it has been a series of ups and downs, but he's never been well enough to come home. A couple of days ago the Dr. told me that he has less than a month left. It's pretty devastating. Thankfully, I'm blessed to have a lot of amazing friends who have been there for me...but these late nights, when there's too much on my mind to sleep, I sit up with Whitney. I watch her videos, sing her songs, smile and cry. Her voice, like it always has been, is so comforting to me.

Any time you lose a loved one, your grief continues long after the rest of the world goes on with their lives. I'm glad that through this loss of our beloved Whitney I've had you guys to share the grief with because I know you understand.

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