824 replies to this topic

[NippyFanNy779]

Today is my first day back to work 100%, and it still feels weird and difficult to just pick back up and move on. Life is rushing forward people going about their mundane tasks but I just want to scream don't you know Whitney is gone!

And I don't know if its just me but most people don't get why I'm still upset and have taken to saying things like "well its not like she was family, you need to get over it" .... Since I have no fight in me right now when people ask how I'm doing I just lie and say I'm fine and change the subject.

Why ask me how I'm doing if all you are going to do it ridicule me for telling the truth? And I can't tell you how many people I have deleted as friends for the horrible comments that I see showing up on my timeline on various Social Networking sites. I don't even argue I just Delete.

How are you guys handling this process of picking up the pieces and moving on?

[ThierryValentijn]

Hi Nippyfan, it's not easy, but we have to move on. I think of Whitney every day (as usual) but now in an other way. It's like just me, her and the good people that surrounded her. There are moments that I'm okay with it (strange enough) and there are moments that I can hardly breathe and fall into tears. What can we do?

[liz06]

Just about the same way. I got some nasty mentions that say I cant possibly love or respect someone like Whitney THIS much because she was just an entertainer and because (and this got him deleted right quick) because I am white. WTF does me being white have to do with my grieving? I got so angry. I'm still angry.

Some people just dont get it, her music was real to me, it wasnt just good music, I felt it body and soul and it touched me, I connect with it. It's almost spiritual. Whitney is more to me than an entertainer and some people just don't get that and thats fine but when they question me about it and really try to make me feel wrong, they get deleted. There was another person on twitter that doesn't understand why I'm grieving so much, if they don't understand I can't make them understand. Either you know it and understand or you dont.

My family has been great about it actually, they ask how I'm doing but not in that cheery kind of way, but more like a serious question so that's nice. They know there isn't much they can do.

So really I'm just working everyday and trying to keep up with schoolwork. If it wasn't for this board and my twitter fam I don't know what I'd do. That includes you Kisha.

So what do I do? I pick up the pieces as best as I can, but there's so many pieces and I don't want to leave any behind.

[Zolas]

I recognize so much of this.

This is what I was saying the other day: Why is it hard for people to give support to a friend/family member/colleague when they don't understand the pain? Isn't the pain itself enough? If you see somebody hurt, you can try to comfort them, right? Do we really need to understand it?

[liz06]

I totally get your point, pain is pain and if you dont understand it, you dont have to to console someone else. I don't know why it's hard for others to give support.

[NippyFanNy779]

Zolas, on 21 February 2012 - 11:18 AM, said:

I recognize so much of this.

This is what I was saying the other day: Why is it hard for people to give support to a friend/family member/colleague when they don't understand the pain? Isn't the pain itself enough? If you see somebody hurt, you can try to comfort them, right? Do we really need to understand it?

That says volumes! Its as if people are incapable of compassion

[NippyFanNy779]

Liz I am so thankful for all of you its so nice to have a core group of people that just GET IT!

[Mind Speaker]

It's always helpful to have people around you who understand! I've had that, but I know a lot of people here didn't! I was thankful that my coworkers put together a lunch for me this past Thursday to help me through it.

My birthday was this past Saturday and my aunt's was Sunday. My mother, my aunt, and myself all went out for a birthday dinner and they signed me up for karaoke. They made sure I tributed Whitney. While I didn't want to do it, after texting a few fans on the board, I bit the bullet and did it and am happy I did. I did SBS and, just like our diva taught us, I didn't do a karaoke version. It was certainly a culmination of all live performances together. The crowd gave a standing ovation after and I shouted into the mic, "WE LOVE AND MISS YOU WHITNEY!!!!" and the crowd applauded at that sentiment!

[Petra]

sometimes i feel like i'm being a drama queen, like i don't have the right to feel this way because i didn't actually know her, but i still do..i'm a lot better, i listen to her music all day long, but i can't seem to do anything else, like study which i really should do..

i had a fight with my mom once, she made me so angry, i hung up on her and refused to talk to her..but she wasn't actually mean, she was worried because i didn't eat, didn't sleep, i was putting my health in danger..so she had the chance to watch the funeral and last night she came across a video countdown which covered the whole of whitney's career, some actual videos, some live performances..she said she watched it for about 4 hours and cried all the time, she was really sad..and the first thing i said to her was "well, now do you see?!" XD

i've had a couple of encounters with people who didn't understand, but they did their best to be respectful..and that's all i ask..you don't have to understand, you don't have to cry your eyes out and turn into a whitney fan or what not, i'm just asking for some respect..

[NippyFanNy779]

I just want my world to go right side up again! All I do is pray for Krissy and Cissy because all I can think is Oh God if I feel like this I can't even imagine what they're going through

[sinderella]

When the news first broke, I was horrified and numb for the first day. I struggled to eat and sleep but what made it worse was the stupid comments I was seeing on fb. I thought I was being silly with the way I was feeling until I reached out to people behind the scenes. To my amazement, even non-whitney fans said they felt it so I began to feel normal.lol.

A very good friend of mine who is a staunch christian, I mean the kind who would quote the bible with his eyes closed, told me a day after the funeral that it impressed upon him to write something and what he thought of the tragedy. He compared it to Samson and the strength in his hair and I found myself listening even though I am not religious. By the end of our conversation, he almost didnt post it cos I was worried about people bashing Whitney in the point he was trying to make. In the end, I told him to go ahead and the feedback was very positive. Its a long read, but if anyone is interested I can forward it to them.

Btw, I feel bad about this, but I am beginning to feel funny about the peeps who wrote harsh things on fb. Even though they are not whitney fans, I just couldnt see how someone couldnt see her as a human being, a mother, a daughter, etc.

I am much better now cos I am speaking to only people who understand. And in an odd way, as much as the funeral was heart-wrenching, I felt a sense of reassurance. The kind I get when I listen to Kim Burrel. She just has this way of making me feel that everything will be alright in the end.

[liz06]

NippyFanNy779, on 21 February 2012 - 01:33 PM, said:

I just want my world to go right side up again! All I do is pray for Krissy and Cissy because all I can think is Oh God if I feel like this I can't even imagine what they're going through

Yes. I can't even imagine they pain they feel. May God continue to bless them and I will continually pray that they find the strength to get through this.

[HBCU_NSU]

I said I wasn't going to come on here for a week or more. Even though I'm not as devastated as I was in the beginning, I still thought it would be too much. I kind of avoid the news and things as well. I mean I know our girl has gone on to be with the Lord, but it's just a lot to take in. I can't imagine how it is for the family with the media and all. But although I didn't post a lot, coming to the site is second nature and I found myself typing in whitney and was at the site...it's actually comforting. We're all grappling with this major change, major void...but you know what...I'm SOOOOO thankful for the memories. Her beautiful smile and music. I watched a clip I think of her in Switzerland at the very beginning of her career. She was so sweet, and there was an innocence and excitement but she didn't let it show too much, so worked and sang hard. I was able to smile at that. I was also in the gym and lately when her songs come on, I skip past them but this time I let it play...I was able to enjoy it, still missing her, but it's getting better.

[Eboni]

In quiet moments thoughout the day I find myself shaking my head, silent, still in disbelief. I feel like a storm just ravaged through my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm not borderline depressed (clinically, anyway). I don't let it affect my interaction with my husband, daughter and friends, even though they know how much I love Whitney. But I still can't quite put the pieces together to see how everything continues without Whitney. And maybe its my fault. Maybe I was obsessed. Maybe we all were. I constantly wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking, where she was gonna be and who she was meeting up with. Though I'd never met her in real life, she was family. I didn't live my life for her or because of her. But it made me happy just to know she was out there, being Whitney. I guess that's the part some people can't understand. Losing Whitney was like losing energy, losing joy.

[NippyFanNy779]

This is the stuff that I'm waiting to get easier. I am listening to my nice Jazz station at work with no fear of hearing Whitney and what do they do! WAM! IWALY

After the services this song is like a kick in the heart!