824 replies to this topic

[Mr Jace]

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH..........All right folks, I did it. I've finally watched a very few performances from the NBL tour. It was hard, but I did it.

I wanna especially post tis clip, for those who can handle it. This was her FINAL performance of a song that is SOOOO fitting to us now. Try not to cry.

[liz06]

Does anyone else feel like it just *hits* you sometimes that she isn't here? I dont have the all day intense sickening feeling of grief every day like I did when she passed, but today, maybe it was the release of the Sparkle trailer that just made me realize that it's the last, there isn't anymore new material because she has died, and then it hits me again. Why does that keep happening? I know she's gone, but it's like I want to put it away in another part of my mind but then it creeps out and gets me all over again. I feel like I shouldn't be having these thoughts, these reminders. Oh well, I know that I'll always feel sadness for her leaving as soon as she did, but maybe those thoughts will eventually go away.

I feel like I'm going to need another grieving process once Sparkle is out.

[Sweet P]

I know exactly what you mean. It hit me hard after watching the trailer earlier today, i sat on my bed and just lay there with tears whelling up. Thought sometimes i feel its necissary to cry, just proves how much we love something or someone. With me i think it will get easier as time passes, but there will always be those random bouts that hit me and ill have to just have a nice cry and remember she isnt here anymore. She did however, leave us with her amazing songs, movies and concerts to always look back on and remember her by.

[MLIYL]

liz06, on 03 April 2012 - 12:22 AM, said:

Does anyone else feel like it just *hits* you sometimes that she isn't here? I dont have the all day intense sickening feeling of grief every day like I did when she passed, but today, maybe it was the release of the Sparkle trailer that just made me realize that it's the last, there isn't anymore new material because she has died, and then it hits me again. Why does that keep happening? I know she's gone, but it's like I want to put it away in another part of my mind but then it creeps out and gets me all over again. I feel like I shouldn't be having these thoughts, these reminders. Oh well, I know that I'll always feel sadness for her leaving as soon as she did, but maybe those thoughts will eventually go away.

I feel like I'm going to need another grieving process once Sparkle is out.

Yes, and I feel angry more than anything at the moment. I'm so mad that this has really happened, and so many questions go through my mind again like would she still be here if she wasn't near any water? Why wasn't anyone in the room with her? Why didn't she know how bad her heart disease was? I know what's done is done, being angry and having all these questions won't bring her back, but that's just how I feel at the moment. I have my days of acceptance, but I also have my days of being in disbelief, sadness, and anger. Especially after seeing the Sparkle trailer. I'm still just a roller coaster of emotions over her passing.

[ILoveYouBack]

So I was looking at the Rare Whitney Pics thread as I have always done from time to time. And there are some recent ones posted that I haven't seen since the 80s and 90s. We know she was so full of life. I have ALWAYS stared long and hard at that face, whatever hair(wig)(weave)do she was rocking at the moment, and always her clothes. That's what was so exciting about her is that you could feel her spirit jumping off the page or the screen.

Part of my occasional denial about the fact that she is gone is that the "sparkle" in her eyes from the 80s and early 90s had really seemed to return. She seemed so full of joyful life and energy. It is SO hard to believe she is gone. Watching/reading all her friends' rememberances, looking at those pictures of her, watching the Sparkle trailer all make me think that she is just going to burst out of nowhere saying "And yes, I will always love you. Wooooooooooooooo" the way she did at the Swarovski event. Think of how many programs (Arsenio Hall) and award shows (too many to count) where she unexpectedly comes from behind stage to make a grand appearance.

I keep thinking she is going to do that somewhere and the world will give her a standing ovation like never before. I know it's not going to happen, but her love for life is what makes it so difficult to truly admit she's gone.

[Petra]

ILoveYouBack, on 04 April 2012 - 12:45 PM, said:

So I was looking at the Rare Whitney Pics thread as I have always done from time to time. And there are some recent ones posted that I haven't seen since the 80s and 90s. We know she was so full of life. I have ALWAYS stared long and hard at that face, whatever hair(wig)(weave)do she was rocking at the moment, and always her clothes. That's what was so exciting about her is that you could feel her spirit jumping off the page or the screen.

Part of my occasional denial about the fact that she is gone is that the "sparkle" in her eyes from the 80s and early 90s had really seemed to return. She seemed so full of joyful life and energy. It is SO hard to believe she is gone. Watching/reading all her friends' rememberances, looking at those pictures of her, watching the Sparkle trailer all make me think that she is just going to burst out of nowhere saying "And yes, I will always love you. Wooooooooooooooo" the way she did at the Swarovski event. Think of how many programs (Arsenio Hall) and award shows (too many to count) where she unexpectedly comes from behind stage to make a grand appearance.

I keep thinking she is going to do that somewhere and the world will give her a standing ovation like never before. I know it's not going to happen, but her love for life is what makes it so difficult to truly admit she's gone.

i love your whole post, but this right here hit me like a ton of bricks..what would i give to have her jump on a stage out of nowhere and give us a little diva bow and sends us some kisses..

i can't really wrap my mind around it because everywhere i look, she's there..i see her photos, videos, interviews, i hear her sing, all those things..and than i look at a photo and try to tell myself "she's gone..she's been gone for almost 2 months now.." and i just can't..i wonder how much longer is this weird feeling going to last..

[xPrincessx]

Man it's weird coming back to this site now, the feeling is so different. I signed up years ago but stopped posting and i was just reading over my old posts... The love and excitement I had for Whitney...oh man these emotions come in waves one moment i'm doing o.k and the next i'm depressed and asking the question so many of us having been asking since Feb 11th.... "WHY?" "Why Whitney?" "Why Now?". But God has spoken, so let the church say amen.

[NippyFanNy779]

Has this happened to anyone else or is it just me. Any time I have Whitney heavy on my mind if I'm listening to the radio one of her songs will come on. I haven't been able to get her out of my head all moring and I put on my internet radio and SAMLFY comes on and I just find myself having a personal Whitney moment and every memory attached to the song just floods back. And when the song ends I'm left with this feeling of emptiness.

[Petra]

can you guys listen to all her songs, watch performances and that stuff? i was wondering where we stood in our grief processes..

i can listen to all uptempo songs and some "slower" ones, but not the trademark ballads..i did listen to some of them once or twice, but i'm just too afraid to go there on a regular basis..i can watch interviews and some live performances (again not ballads), but i don't think i could take a whole concert..

[NippyFanNy779]

I can listen to everything except IWALY, I'm thankfully enjoying her music and hearing her voice again. Her interviews even from the begining somehow gave me comfort. Do I still feel sad when I hear and watch her...yes! It will take some time to not feel that automatic sadness but at least I can put it in the back of my mind and enjoy it and not cry...well at least I don't cry everytime maybe a tear here and there.

[xPrincessx]

I too can't listen to IWALY which is ironic as it was the last performance I watched of Whitney before she died (2 days before to be exact). Since the funeral EVERYTIME I hear that song I associate it with her funeral and in particular that moment when they lifted the casket up... I think that will stay with me, the acapella beginning that I loved so much when I heard it that moment (as I wasn't expecting it) made me freeze and gave me chills but not in the good way it used to before... Right after she died the only songs I could really listen to were from TPW album, everything else was just too hard. This autopsy report has thrown me through a loop though, reading the words (that I actually regret googling) in relation to whitney actually makes me feel sick and I purposely did not write the words here because once I found out what they meant, to think of whitney like that... well it breaks my heart and I do not want to cause the same misery I am feeling. This is so tough

[Petra]

i'm angry at people who judge her and trash her and refuse to understand..no matter what she did and what she accomplished, it was all gonna come down to drugs..i guess she was perfect in a way, America's princess, and once they found that one thing that proved she wasn't perfect, they held onto it with their dear lives..it's like no one has ever done anything bad in their lives, no bad decisions, no bad turns, like they're all just so perfect that it gives them the right to point out someone else's flaws..

it amazes me that a lot of people don't understand addiction or don't want to understand it so they could keep judging and saying the same stuff all over again like a broken record..i'm a smoker which also means i'm an addict..it's not something i'm proud of, but it's the truth..of course, smoking cigarettes and doing heavy drugs are not really on the same level, but still, all addictions are the same in their core..you get hooked up on some substance, for this reason or that, and it changes the chemistry of your brain so you actually physically need it..it's not like i'm bored so i light a cigarette not to be..i light it because i feel an actual physical need to do so and if i don't i get nervous, edgy, etc..addiction is a disease imho, and like many other it can and should be treated..

she took the necessary steps, she made that decision for herself that it was enough, that she was done with it..and although it was the biggest step, it wasn't the only one..because you don't live by yourself, especially if you're a celebrity..you have your family, friends, business associates, celebrity peers, the media, fans, you practically live with the whole world..and many of those people are your enablers..it is very important to have support from the people around you and it seems to me she didn't have that..i'm not saying everyone around her was contributing to her falling of the wagon, but some did..

a friend of mine stopped smoking a month ago..the other day we were together, got some coffee and i of course immediately lit a cigarette..she gave me the puppy eyes and asked for one..it would have been so easy for me to indulge her because that way we could "have fun" the way we used to and i could have one of the things we had in common back..but it would also be selfish..so i didn't do it..i decided not to smoke in front of her, at least while she's in this early stage of getting rid of it..i'm not saying i should be congratulated for what i did, i'm just saying i think that was the right thing to do..

so whoever made that step that pushed her into relapsing made a very bad decision, whether it was for these selfish reasons (having a good time like in the old days) or malicious ones (enjoying in a downfall of a person who tried so hard to stay on the right track, just for the sake of it) and i hope they feel remorse and guilt although i'm sure it's just wishful thinking..

i'm not a blind fan..yes, she was an adult and she made her own decisions..but she's not the only one to blame either..there are certain things a recovering addict needs and she obviously didn't have them..i'm pretty sure she would have gotten on the right track again, and that it was a recent relapse, not a long time thing..but this way she'll never get the chance..it's very unfortunate, but i guess that's the way life turns out sometimes..

so my only wish is for people to open their eyes, think with their own minds..i wish they look beyond these flaws which in comparison to everything else she was as a person fade and become insignificant..as i said, these things show how human she was and they make me love her even more..she didn't give up..she was a fighter to the very end..


end of a too long and unnecessary rant

[Joleen]

Petra, on 05 April 2012 - 04:31 PM, said:

i'm not a blind fan..yes, she was an adult and she made her own decisions..but she's not the only one to blame either..there are certain things a recovering addict needs and she obviously didn't have them..i'm pretty sure she would have gotten on the right track again, and that it was a recent relapse, not a long time thing..but this way she'll never get the chance..it's very unfortunate, but i guess that's the way life turns out sometimes..

so my only wish is for people to open their eyes, think with their own minds..i wish they look beyond these flaws which in comparison to everything else she was as a person fade and become insignificant..as i said, these things show how human she was and they make me love her even more..she didn't give up..she was a fighter to the very end..


end of a too long and unnecessary rant

Well the one thing I have been saying is that she wasn't in any condition to continue to working. I think the pressures she felt along with many before her are that so many people depend on them. If she stops then the money stops and she couldn't let that happen. But I just wish more people around her would have insisted it... I know those ladies who were with her that night before she died said she was drinking champagne and it was innocent. It angers me when they say that, for them YES it was okay but not for Whitney. :/

Anyway I know we can keep going round and round about this but it won't change anything. Death is so final.

It's good that you didn't give in and smoke with your friend.

Edited by Joleen, 05 April 2012 - 05:13 PM.

[Accomplice]

NippyFanNy779, on 05 April 2012 - 09:41 AM, said:

I can listen to everything except IWALY, I'm thankfully enjoying her music and hearing her voice again. Her interviews even from the begining somehow gave me comfort. Do I still feel sad when I hear and watch her...yes! It will take some time to not feel that automatic sadness but at least I can put it in the back of my mind and enjoy it and not cry...well at least I don't cry everytime maybe a tear here and there.

I'm with you Petra, I can only listen to the up-tempo stuff but it's limited. I'm still rockin LWSTD alot and it still makes me happy. I listened to DJL and OOTD
today and did ok, smiled even but I'm to chicken to go all in and listen to everything. I just can't keep falling apart, I feel like a crazy person.

IWALY has been a hard song for me to listen to for many years. My nephew was killed years ago in a car accident. the first time I went to the cemetary
I pulled in the drive and listen to cd's in my car and the cd changed and IWALY started literally the second I pulled in. The second time I went I was
listening to radio and the song came on just as I pulled up by where he is buried. The next time it was on my ipod, everytime I go that song comes out
of nowhere and I just sob. As much as I love that song for me it just has alot attached to it and then with the Homegoing and that image it's just to much.

[CoNcLusIveTrUthZ]

I'm listening to her. Right now I'm spinning the "Whitney" CD, however I skip track 4 each and everytime. YSMM gave me waterworks but for the most part, it's great. LIstening to YSMM reminds you how there are Whitney songs that are not hits that are just as epic as the hits. Vocal tour de force on that record, lord have mercy.